dudesndivorce.com

Hey guys! hope everyone is doing well.  Just wanted to drop a quick line to explain that (in case you hadn’t noticed) Russ and I are not professional website designers (no really! ~:?)) lol!).  We’re still pretty new to running a blog so you will probably notice some slight problems from time to time.  Please just understand that our area of experience is in being guys going through divorce . . . not computers or websites.  We’re in something of a learning curve here – I’m sure some of you can relate.  Hopefully nothing will interfere with our discussions but if anyone has any complaints please feel free to share them with Russ . . . it’s probably his fault anyway! ~:?)) (just giving you a hard time Russ!).  Seriously though we appreciate everyone’s understanding and patience.

Thank you

Bill

I struggled for years in my marriage trying to make it work. Yes, maybe, far too long. Hindsight is 20/20 you know! So I certainly would NOT be the first to offer any advice to anyone on when to begin seriously considering divorce. All I can do is relate to you my story.

As I said, I felt I worked very hard to try to find every way possible to make my marriage work, to build a relationship with my wife. But I constantly was meeting with roadblocks and frustration. I couldn’t figure it out! I’d want to have date nights, she did but only if we did what she wanted to do. I wanted to talk with her, she didn’t want to talk with me, only at me! I’d invest my time in her interests so I could take part in those with her, I would be rejected when that time came. And, I could not help noticing, she did not reciprocate. I’d set aside time to spend with her in my schedule (and I would tell her, not just spring it on her), she would usually fill that time up with other activities or her friends.

Finally everything came to light! During a conversation (read argument) she finally said the words that shed light on my whole frustration and led me to understanding of why nothing was working out in our relationship. She said, “The only thing I want from you is security.” Suddenly everything fit into place like a puzzle!

You see, the whole time I wanted and worked towards a relationship with my wife, the only thing she wanted was a financial arrangement that benefited her! It was at that point I knew divorce was my only option. I felt no amount of counseling would change her mindset because this reflected her behaviour for years and years.  

Russ