I had been moved out of the house for 8 months and the whole divorce process had been going very slow when I finally met and began talking to another woman. Because of the divorce situation and because it was a long distance relationship it was another 3 months before we actually were going to “see” each other, thus making it 11 months since I had moved out of the house and started the divorce. True, it wasn’t complete yet, but I knew I was never going back. My ex-wife’s communication with me concerned only money, never getting back together, so this was not an issue.
But I wanted to tell my kids before this woman arrived. I didn’t want them to just see us suddenly together in town! Now this was still during the time when 2 out of the 3 were very strained with me to say the least, in fact they really didn’t make any effort to see me at all. I could not make arrangements for all of us to be together at the same time so my only option was to write and mail them letters explaining myself to them. (At this time the situation was so strained with my youngest he would not take my phone calls either.)
They received their letters and my two oldest kids met with me to discuss it face to face. I was open and honest with them. They were understanding and really only wanted to be assured of one thing, that this new relationship of mine had started after I had moved out of the house. I was able to assure them of this and then they were pretty ok with it. As best they could be at the time, I should say. I’m not claiming they are saints and accepted it wholeheartedly, I’m saying they accepted it as much or more than I expected at the time. for that I am grateful.
Russ
