When it comes to the lengths people will go to when fighting for custody of their children its safe to say that nothing should surprise us. So many core issues are involved here including not only the care and up bringing of one’s children but also the financial concerns of child support, the pressures exerted by extended family and friends, self esteem and perhaps a persons own parent/child issues. Whenever you bring that many critical matters of the human heart together on one issue things are bound to get ugly!
As I have thought and planned this article it’s become more and more obvious to me that one post is simply far to limited a space to touch on this topic, even lightly. What I plan on doing then is extending this series into next week to look at each of the most common forms that custody battles take.
A bit of self revelation is in order here; not only am I a single parent, I also work in Child Protective Services and see these issues played out every day. Given these qualifications I believe that I can speak about what to expect in a custody dispute. However, while I have some knowledge both personal and professional of custody issues I AM NOT an attorney so nothing I say here should be taken as legal advice. I am also a CPS worker in only one State in the U.S. and my focus is on Abuse and Neglect issues – every state is different in their laws and policies concerning both Abuse/Neglect as well as custody issues rising from divorce (CPS doesn’t normally get involved in parental custody disputes). So although I can speak well in general terms and broad principles, the personal application to your own situation should be taken with these facts in mind and should, ideally, involve an attorney whenever possible.
So what kinds of things can we possibly expect? Well as I mention above just about anything. Custody disputes take many forms including legal battles, involving CPS, relationship warfare, exerting financial pressures and even outright physical violence. I will examine each of these in the week ahead and look at some ways to defend yourself; I’ll also look at how each of these affect the children unlucky enough to get caught in the middle. I will do that because, believe it or not, it is sometimes easy for parents to forget the toll their warfare is having on the children; talk about your “collateral damage”!! Our children naturally love both of their parents; even if their parents have come to hate one another. And even when one parent is behaving in an exceptionally destructive manner that the children must be protected from . . . they still love that parent. I think that’s a critically important fact to consider before we launch into the coming weeks subject matter.
We’ll start that discussion on Tuesday with a look at issues involving legal battles.
Until then be well
Bill
Recent Comments