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Of all the issues that a parent can have to face, the specter of Child Abuse and/or Neglect is one of the hardest. Not only does it represent an actual assault upon your child or the neglect of their basic needs – it also involves a CPS (Child Protective Services) investigator and the organs of government – both of which can be pretty intimidating. As someone who works in CPS I can provide some general information on how to deal with these issues should they come up. However let me put forth a quick disclaimer first – CPS laws and policies are different not only in every state but also between regions or even counties in the same state and they are almost always changing. For that reason I am not going to get very specific but provide some general information and guidelines that should serve you well nearly anywhere.

- Hotline Calls; If you feel strongly that your child is being abused or neglected then by all means make a call to your state’s Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline Number (can normally be found in your telephone book). It is best if you have an idea who the suspected abuser was; their address and the date/time/place that the abuse took place. If there is a bruise or other physical evidence it is important to mention that fact as well. You don’t have to prove that abuse took place just have a reasonable suspicion. That being said though please understand that there is a difference under the law between poor parenting and Child Abuse/Neglect. Just because the ex-wife feeds them doughnuts every morning for breakfast doesn’t mean that she’s guilty of neglect. That’s an important point to remember. Avoid making frequent Child Abuse and Neglect hotline calls over relatively minor issues as many states have laws in place that will allow harassment through the Child Abuse Hotline to be prosecuted. It also uses up valuable time for a CPS investigator that could be utilized assuring the safety of a child in a much more dangerous situation. Again, if you have credible reason to believe that your child is expereincing abuse or neglect make the phone call! Doing so doesn’t mean that your child will automatically go into foster care but it does mean that a trained professional will look into your concerns.

If, on the other hand, you have had a hotline called in on you the best thing to do is to cooperate fully with the investigative process; arguing or loosing your temper isn’t going to help you any. Being able to provide information which supports your inocence is helpful such as school attendence records, notes from a doctor’s visit, name’s of persons who observed you and your child during the time period in question. And if you feel that you are being harrassed by someone through the hotline system (i.e. a call is made to CPS after every visit for bogus allegations) then talk to your local prosecuting attorney or lawyer about the possibility of persuing those charges in your state.

It may be necessary to attend parenting classes, counseling or a support group of some kind as the issues are worked out. Often times this can be a very helpful thing for all concerned and by cooperating with the process you help the CPS workers understand that you are a reasonable, responsible adult. (remember that they see a lot of unreasonable and unresponsible people in their line of work and it’s easy for them to classify you accordingly if you argue and resist at every turn)

I realize this isn’t an exhaustive treaties on the subject but it really doesn’t have to be; the basic facts to remember are to avoid the temptation of fighting your custody battles in the CPS system; keep any documentation concerning your children showing their proper care and cooperate if one is called in on you.

Hope this is helpful; we’ll finish up this series on Tuesday when we’ll look at relationship warfare and how it can impact custody concerns.

Until then be well

Bill