Been divorced and single for a while now? Starting to think about getting back into the dating scene? Pretty much all of us get to that point eventually and we all struggle a bit on figuring out how to get back into the water. There is of course the local scene; be it singles-bars or your church there are local places to meet women of a similar mindset as yourself. There is also the “referral system” in which friends or family take it upon themselves to introduce someone to you . . . and sometimes they even pick someone fairly normal! But while these approaches can be workable I’d say that most of us have at least given some thought to the on-line dating sites. I’ve done some of that myself and have had some VERY mixed results. Tell me if any of this sounds familiar . .
First we have what I like to call the “Hoes-R-Us” sites . . . these are pretty blatantly just about finding a one night stand. Not a lot of screening in most of these and not much in the way of determining if the two of you are deeply compatible emotionally and psychologically . . . pretty much just a matter of mutual convenience. Personally these really aren’t my style . . . I’m just sayin’ that there would seem to be some sanitation issues involved that I’d really rather avoid entirely.
Second is the Run-of-the-mill sites; no real emphasis on matching and sort of a crap-shoot insofar as meeting anyone. You end up talking to a LOT of women before you run across one who you can click with. I have met a few nice ladies on these sites. Biggest drawback is normally one of distance. Sure she’s nice and all but she lives four states away! Hmmm. You also meet some Stealth-Hoes on these sites. They seem all nice and lady-like and stuff but then about the third or fourth message or the first phone call and they are suddenly talking like a 1-900 number (or so I would imagine!). But Stealth-Hoes and distance issues aside you CAN meet someone nice on one of these sites . . . it’s just a volume game.
The final type of site that I’ve run across is the high-dollar, compatibility-is-our-middle-name variety. The cost is normally a bit more but I see that as an advantage as it tends to weed out those who aren’t seriously looking and not just acting “on a whim and a hormone”. The compatibility stuff is nice as well since it takes a lot of the guessing game out of it. I belonged to one such site that is considered one of the top compatibility sites on the web (yes- the one you are probably thinking of) and I have to say that I felt the experience was a positive one. Nearly everyone I met on that site seemed fairly normal and relatively healthy emotionally. I made several friends (non-romantic) and actually did meet a lady to whom I was engaged for a while. Things didn’t work out between us but I don’t blame the site for that.
As in everything else it’s all about what you want to get out of it. Personally, for me, the higher cost of the compatibility site was well worth the money and I would probably use it again. What’s your experience been like? I’d be interested in hearing if anyone has found a site that seems really excellent . . . or conversely . . . one that is especially not so excellent.
Until next time (Tuesday)
Be Well
Bill
