The first Christmas the kids and I spent together after I separated from their mom was pretty unforgettable. Money was very tight, I was still extremely new to being a single-parent and divorce proceedings were at the zenith of their ugliness with all of the associated drama coming from my ex-wife and her side of the family. So into this volatile mix we throw THE major holiday of the year . . . CHRISTMAS! That could have been a real unhappy holiday and one that set a negative Yule-tide tone for years to come.
What happened instead wasn’t a miracle and that is probably a very good thing; sometimes you don’t want a miracle, some once in a lifetime thing, because then what would you pin next year’s hopes on eh? No what happened instead was pure old everyday mundane family and friends . . . which was really the best possible blessing we could have received.
Several of my neighbors and friends lived in the same little apartment complex as we and were single parents themselves. They invited us to their Christmas parties and helped us decorate our house with paper chains and strung popcorn and Christmas cards and a pathetically wonderful little tree. I got a lot of encouragement and helpful advice and even some free babysitting (which is a gift from heaven for any single parent let me tell you!). My kids also got to see that they weren’t the only one’s with a single parent family and I think that helped them through the initial adjustment period more than anything I could have said or done on my own.
My family was also very supportive, I don’t think a week went by that whole holiday season that at least one member of my family wasn’t dropping in for a visit or to take one of the kids off on some activity or another. Whether it was mom stopping by for a cup of coffee and a talk or my brother and his wife taking one of the kids for a sleep-over or my poor little sister babysitting my three kiddos while I went out with some friends – my family was a very present help in that time of trouble. I always look back on that year’s gathering as one of the best Christmas dinners that I’ve ever had; not because the ham was juicier or the pumpkin pie was sweeter . . . but because I ate it surrounded by a close and loving family.
Quite often as I’m writing these posts I talk about the importance of having others to turn to for support and encouragement and really this is at the heart of why I do so. Because while divorce is a horrible and lonely word and something we often struggle through alone; that first Christmas I was given a gift that made all the difference in the world to my children and I . . . simple friendship and family.
Be well and have a wonderful and blessed Christmas
Bill
