Sitting here at my computer a couple days before Christmas contemplating what to write for a Christmas Day post I’m tempted to just wish everyone a very merry one and be done with it – nice and simple and pleasant right?
But then I get thinking about who may be reading this on Christmas day . . . maybe a guy whose going through his divorce right now and this is his first Christmas without his kids and family around him. Or maybe things have been really bad in your marriage and this Christmas was a huge blow-up and you’re starting to think divorce might be the only answer. Whatever your situation odds are pretty good that if you are reading this blog on Christmas then you’re feeling anything BUT “merry”
Well naturally I can’t say anything in this post that is going to make you suddenly feel better or that is going to be the answer to all your current problems. I’m pretty sure you aren’t looking for that and would be real skeptical if I claimed to have those answers. I’m not a preacher or a counselor and neither is Russ; we’re just a couple dudes in the Midwest who’ve been through our own divorces and want to give men a forum to share their experiences with other men going through similar situations. Including some pretty rotten holidays now and then (sometime I’ll share the holiday when my ex disappeared with my kids for several days!).
Yeah, sometimes the holidays aren’t going to be wonderful and magical or merry and bright . . . but they ARE only 24 hours long and with some effort you can get through them. Finding a friend or family member to visit with has always helped me; some like watching movies or taking a walk – basically it seems like anything that distracts your attention and burns up those damn 24 hours is a workable strategy. If things get really bad and you start contemplating hurting yourself then please call someone – anyone. Believe me that’s one strategy that just doesn’t work. If you have to call 911 or a local hospital – they’ll help, they really will. It’s just 24 hours, you get through it and then you work on putting together a solution that resolves these problems. That’s what I had to do and Russ and just about every other guy that’s been down this road. There are some real low spots and times when it seems like stuff is getting worse – not better; yeah it even looks pretty damn hopeless at times. But I think just about every one of those men who’ve dealt with these problems in their lives would say that eventually things DO get better, situations change and seemingly insurmountable obstacles are gotten over.
I’m not feeding you a line of happy crap . . . just telling you what I’ve found to be true in my own life. You breathe in and you breathe out; you work the problems one at a time; one day at a time and slowly things get better. No magical solution . . . but I hope it helps a bit anyway.
Be well . . . and have a blessed Christmas
Bill
