Hello dudesndivorce.com dudes!
Much has been said about the act(s) of giving of oneself in a relationship (to which I agree) but I would like to take a moment to comment on, shall I say, the other side of that particular coin.
Now before I do I do want to point out or make a disclaimer that I do understand that a relationship/marriage has ebbs and flows just like life. That there are times when one partner “needs” more attention or assistance for a time than the other. I am not going to be referring to those times but rather the general aspect of a relationship/marriage. Understand? Good.
While I do think it is vital that you invest in your marriage/your relationship by investing time, effort, and energy in it and your partner I also believe you should be aware if you are the only one of the two of you doing so. Or if your partner is only casually putting forth effort, i.e. just enough effort to get by or to keep you from noticing they aren’t investing much effort and are really letting you carry most of the burden of the relationship.
Now, I do not intend to “put a bug in your ear” so you start looking for an excuse to pick a fight with your spouse regarding any old thing to blame her for not “carrying her weight” in the relationship. Before you do anything so drastic, stop yourself! Step back and start thinking. Try to remove yourself emotionally from the situation and say, “Would I interpret these actions the same if I were someone else outside of this relationship looking back in on it?” Maybe it would be a good idea to ask a trusted friend that knows your marriage well their opinion also. I’m a big one for getting more input before you make a big decision.
If you feel you have enough reason to believe that is so, well, you need to speak with your spouse heart to heart and face to face on the issue. Tell her how you feel and why. Tell her you need change in this area of your relationship.
Relationships should be fair.
See ya later,
Russ
