Hello dudesndivorce.com dudes!
I’d just like to take a moment and follow up with some thoughts I had regarding my last post, if I may.
Some people are both very good at and very fond of the tactic of distraction. Personally I can recall that it was one of my ex-wife’s favorites. It became quite a chore to keep her “on task” as it were in any discussion! As I would persist she would become more desperate and reach farther and farther back into our history together for something to use or try something even more vague or extremely pointless or off topic. Thus showing me she was really desperate to get off this topic and the more I needed to pursue it! (I admit I can be like a bulldog sometimes!)
Her persistence in this extended to other areas of our lives too, to be honest. For example, when I was enjoying running and wished to lose weight she suddenly became Lil Miss Betty Crocker in the kitchen, baking my favorite cookies and pies! This stemmed, of course, from her usual tactic of distraction and her persistent desire to see me fail. Nonetheless, I maintained my focus, lost the weight, continued my exercise regimen, and met my goals. Something to this day I am proud of.
My point? Your spouse knows all your “weak” points and may not feel the least bit guilty in using them against you for their own personal defense or gain (however they may perceive it). So be prepared in advance for an ugly assault! Gird yourself! Batton down the hatches! Don’t, I repeat, don’t let her get your goat! Because that is when you have lost the day. Not the war, mind you, but the day. You can recover and try again.
You know, if you suspect this to be the case try this; get a friend to role play with you. You, of course be you. Your friend be your spouse. Let your friend say all the things they can to throw you off, to distract you. Sound weird? Why? It’s just practice! You practice at a sport, don’t you? You would practice any new skill, wouldn’t you? So practice this! Be prepared!
See ya later!
Russ
