Hello dudesndivorce.com dudes!
I would like to take a precious moment and comment on this portion of Bill’s once again excellent post, “Romancing the Drone“. Over and over again I hear men comment on how they do not believe in the need to continue to pursue their wife’s affections after marriage. And I also hear women lament over and over how they wish or miss their husband’s affections or pursuit of them. Often I notice these same couples are the ones experiencing a high rate of difficulty in their marriages.
“Mere coincidence!”, you say? “A statistical anomaly!”, you protest? “I think not!”, says I.
Much has been made about the woman’s need for affection. So I actually won’t go into that, I feel that probably has been hammered enough but if you want we can discuss that (just leave us a comment). Let’s take a moment and look at the other side of this “coin”. That being the man or husband’s “need” to give or display affection! Now I am not a psychologist or a psychiatrist or even a sociologist but I do have an opinion from watching and listening to people for most of my life. And one of those opinions involve the idea that all people, yes, even men!, have a need to express themselves.
This includes their affections and thoughts regarding their spouse. To me you are not only doing your own self a disservice by not expressing your love for your wife (I’m trying to speak about a still relatively healthy relationship) but also your wife and your family too. Your wife needs to have your love for her reaffirmed frequently (“Hell, I told her when we got married didn’t I?” that being 20 years ago just doesn’t cut it) and likewise, believe it or not, so do you! Personally, it is gratifying to honestly tell someone “I love you” in no uncertain terms.
It also models great behavior for your kids too. Our children learn so much from watching us. If they see a father that never can say “I love you” they may have difficulty doing the same thing. But if you positively role model how to express your emotions for your children what a powerful influence you can be on them!
Once again, change may not be easy, but you get NOTHING from doing NOTHING!!!
See ya later,
Russ
Recent Comments