Hello dudesndivorce.com guys!
I am going to visit this again because it is so close to my heart.
I think we as men have a tendency to get locked up on making a big production out of romancing our wives. And while it is very nice to do occasionally and sometimes quite appropriate many many times she is just looking for the small daily stuff that shows her she is still “the apple of our eye”.
If I may offer some ideas or examples;
1. The Quick Call. Many of us have and use cell phones nowadays so for a lot this is very do-able. Just when she wouldn’t expect it, call her suddenly and say something like “I miss you” or “I love you” or “I was just thinking of you and had to call and hear your voice.” These little these can mean so much to her. They tell her she still has an important part in your heart, your thoughts, and, yes, your life!
2. The Little Note. Write a little note and tuck it somewhere she is sure to find it. Hide it in her purse, her coat or jacket pocket, if she takes a lunch from home hide it in there, use a rubber band and attach it to her cell phone, her coffee or tea mug, hide a note in her underwear drawer for goodness sake! Heck, be creative! (Just remember, this is about her, NOT YOU!)
Don’t freak out here, dudes! This note doesn’t have to make her forget Shakespeare ever existed. But it should be something you write yourself. From your heart. I learned something about writing in the military, we called it the KISS method. It stands for Keep It Simple, Stupid! As tacky as that sounds, it is a good reminder and, believe it or not I have found it applies here as well. Don’t try to be Shakespeare. Don’t try to be overly poetic or flowerly. Just say how you feel simply.
For example; I can’t wait to see you again tonight!
Each day I realize I really do love you.
I am glad I see your face first thing each morning.
When you get this, I’ll be thinkin’ of you!
3. The Change Up. Great! You’ve decided to start having a date night to bring back the spark in your relationship! Good for you! The first night went good, what did you do? A dinner and a movie? Maybe stopped for a late drink afterwards? Good, and both of you enjoyed the night out? Great, you think. So you do it again next week. And the next week. And..the..next..week. And…..the……next……week.
To many of us guys, “Hey, if it was good the first time why isn’t it good every time?” But what started out so good in January has been long a chore by June, let me tell ya! And your back where you started, both of you ready to quit the whole idea of the date night! I know your not gonna want to hear this but for most of us, it is the man’s responsibility in the relationship to come up with ideas for the date night. Yes, I know, get all the screaming, wailing, and gnashing of teeth out of your system now. Yes, yes, I’ve heard it all before about how it’s all so unfair and she should shoulder some of this too. And, yeah, you may be right but it doesn’t change the fact that 9 times out of 10 that’s just the way it is and your not going to win this one, pal! So put your big boy pants on and deal with it ( as my daughter is famous for saying!).
Where do I get ideas, you ask? My answer is brusquely simple, Start Paying Attention!!! More often than not if you pay attention to your wife she will give you all the clues you need for ideas for your date nights. Notice how she responds to other peoples conversations, or ads on the radio or paper or TV for events or special activities or places to go. If she responds favorably, if her eyes light up, if she speaks up and says “Wow! That sounds like fun!” Duh! There’s yer clue, Sherlock! Or perhaps you can start spending that mental free time when your on the treadmill or stuck in traffic reviewing her conversations, sifting through them for clues to her likes, her dreams, and yes, even her fantasies! Then try to do a little research to see if you can make them come true on some level. Listen, even if it does not come out exactly as either one of you would have hoped, let me tell you, you will have scored some major points just by showing her A) your listening to her and B) she is important to you.
And these two things mean so much to a woman.
Hope this helps, See ya later!
Russ
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