Hey dudesndivorce.com dudes!
With Valentines Day Upon us and the Holidays just past I feel the need to write for a bit on selecting the appropriate gift or gifts for our significant female other. To be honest, this has been inspired by many memories (from which I still cringe) of hearing men proudly claim to have bought and given their wives some household appliance for a gif!
They seem so happy with themselves, yet so blind to their own lack of understanding of their own mates needs and desires.
Now please understand I am speaking in generalities here, but most women do NOT want to be given a new dishwasher or stove or microwave for Valentine’s Day or their birthday or even Christmas either. It is perfectly fine to give your Dad, your pal, your son, your brother a new cool multi-tool or power tool or something for their truck or car. But it doesn’t work the same for a woman, guys.
When a woman is going to receive a gift or is receiving a gift she interprets that as a message from you as to how you view her. So if you give her a household appliance, the message you send to her is, “I see you as a part of the house” or possibly “I see you as a servant or an employee”. Now I know you may not intend to send that message in any way, regardless, that is often how your gift can be received. And I’m sure you will agree those are less than romantic messages to send to your “honey”. Not to mention, demeaning to her self image. So if you get a feeling of her putting some distance between the two of you after this, the two events could be related, you know what I’m saying?
But, on the other hand, if you give her a gift that speaks from your heart and sends a message of your appreciation for her, well my friend, that sends another message entirely and will have an entirely different effect on your wife! Women, in general, and your wife in particular want, and yes, need to feel appreciated and noticed. This is your time. Or if you have been putting into practice some of the ideas I gave you from my last post another chance to build on what you’ve been doing. And again, the key is the same I mentioned in that post also “Start Paying Attention!!!”. In advance preferably so you can prepare or purchase the appropriate gift that will light her fire. Instead of sending the message to her that she is an appliance or a servant you want to send her a message like these; “I see you as the my Queen!” or “I see you as the apple of my eye!” or “I still see you as my one and only.” Those are the kind of messages most women want to hear and are waiting to hear.
And if you really do need the dishwasher or stove or microwave just take her out with you, pick one out together and buy the darn thing! DO NOT mention the word gift! Just buy it because you as a couple need it, the family needs it, the house needs it. Because it is a practical thing to do. Don’t buy it and try to count it as a gift for her like getting some sort of “twofer” or “freebie” from the gift gods or something! Jeez!
See ya later,
Russ
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