Welcome dudesndivorce.com readers!
I have a friend who went through a divorce about the same time as I did. Let’s call him Ted. Ted also was married a long time, over 20 years.
I watched and listened to Ted through his divorce and afterwards. While he may never come out and say it, I think it really tore him up. He was down for quite some time. Seeing other couples together, even though he would say he was happy for them, would make him more than a little melancholy. In the immediate aftermath of his divorce he would often say he simply did not feel any attraction to another woman at that time or rather a desire for another relationship right away. I just told him, “Really, that’s ok. You probably need time to heal right now. Maybe it wouldn’t be so good for you right now.”
As time went by, we would repeat this conversation but Ted would add that he was beginning to get concerned about himself in that those feelings for another woman, i.e. a relationship, weren’t returning. I just kept encouraging him and reminding him that he experienced a lot of pain and the more pain you experience the more time you need to heal.
Finally, after many many long months, Ted finally came to the point where he just looked at me and said, “You know, I think meeting a lady would be good. I think I’m ready.” It was a couple years or more between those two events and, yes, those were two hard years for Ted but he got past them. He got through them. Has he found a lady yet? No. But that is not the point of this post, the point is even men can suffer pain and suffering from a divorce and need time to heal before moving on with another relationship. It is best to acknowledge that and let that healing take place. Then you can move ahead with a more healthy you. A more positive you. A more ready you.
Just a little something to think about. See ya later,
Russ
