Good afternoon men! I hope the weather is more pleasant where you are than it is here! VERY humid! I’m thinking I might just need gills next time I go outside!
Well as you might have gathered from the title I’ve been reading William Bennett’s The Book of Virtues. Some of you who visit here regularly know that I’ve been reading the Moral Compass (also by Mr. Bennett) and have found it to have great application for divorced men. Basically The Book of Virtues is a similar work with similar applications but it’s focus is centered on 10 key virtues; these are: Self-Discipline, Compassion, Responsibility, Friendship, Work, Courage, Perseverance, Honesty, Loyalty and Faith. Each of these ten virtues is given a chapter of it’s own which contains stories selected from the literary traditions of the world and which best exemplify each specific virtue. The content is very diverse with stories from Native American, Oriental, Middle Eastern, African and European origins represented. The selections also range from simple stories easily told to a child to pieces from Chaucer and Shakespeare amongst many others. As with the Moral Compass this book is a wonderful resource for single father’s attempting to instill basic moral values in their children as well as an inspiration and reminder of the value of such principles for ourselves.
Dealing with a divorce I’m sure you’ve learned, or are learning now, that it is a process that is an absolute trial by fire of your basic character. your limits are sorely tested and you can be made to suffer for basic integrity and decency. I can’t tell you how many divorced men that I talk to tell me about how they’ve been punished financially and emotionally for their efforts to do “the right thing”. Stretch you finances to give your ex a couple hundred extra dollars to help the kids get something they need and next thing you know her attorney has you back in court and they’re increasing your child support or alimony! Sometimes it can be easy to understand why some guys just disappear – or become hateful and vengeful themselves. The Book of Virtues is a great thing to have on hand in times like those as it helps us remember WHY it is important to hold the line internally and remain true to self.
As the philosopher said – “the unexamined life is not worth living” – and self-examination is a big part of rebuilding your life after a divorce (or in making the choice to pursue a divorce to begin with for some of us.). While I’ve been divorced a number of years now I am still engaged in that process of self-study and understanding. For me both of these books by William Bennett have been a very great help. They reconnect me to the basics of my moral instruction and challenge me in how I am living up to those self-same virtues in my own life.
I highly recommend The Book of Virtues and The Moral Compass for any divorced man . . . sort of a must-have for the Divorced Dudes library!
Hope this has been helpful! Until next time . . . Be Well!
Bill
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