Hello guys,
Since Bill has written so well on the self discipline issue recently, I’d thought I’d share a little something on the same.
This has been an issue I have been struggling with all my life. Despite being in the military (you’d think I would’ve gotten a handle on it then!). To be honest, I felt for most of my marriage my ex-wife took advantage of my willingness to “step up” in this regard so she (in my opinion) almost completely withdrew from not only self discipline but also disciplining the children. Thus leaving me to carry this burden. A burden I was never fully equipped to bear (ain’t 20/20 hindsight great?). despite confronting her on this issue numerous times, no progress was ever achieved.
So, I guess when I moved out and began the process of divorce I felt that I had simply been worn out or down self discipline-wise. I just felt like it had all been wrung out of me. Did I completely go to pot, as the old saying goes? No, but I really did slack off in a lot of areas of my life. Some inconsequential, others not. Some I’m not proud of at all, in fact pretty ashamed actually.
But, after 2 years after the divorce actually became final, nearly 4 from the move out day, I feel like returning to my old self, to some old habits. I have been wanting (and, yes, needing) to exercise for quite some years now. And today I returned to running, something I used to truly enjoy.
But my mindset is not simply to exercise, to log miles, to lose weight (while all those are good and I want them to happen) my mindset now is to simply enjoy running again. To enjoy the feeling of the air and sun against your face, the changing weather and seasons, to feel my body transform from the sluggish thing it is now to a firmer, fitter me. To feel the blood flow cleanly through my veins, to feel the air surge through my lungs, and to feel that deep down sense of satisfaction that I have done something good. And I did it all on my own. That sense of accomplishment that no one can take from you.
Just wanted to share,
Russ
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