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These are just some of the words sage and cynical Morg Hickman (played by Henry Fonda) uses to try teach young, naive, and certainly wet behind the ears new sheriff Ben Owens (played by Anthony Perkins).

The Tin Star

Hickman arrives in town with a dead body in tow. He’s there to claim his bounty, yes, he’s a bounty hunter. And you can tell right away, that profession is not welcome in this Old Western town. Owens is the new sheriff. Emphasis on the new! The last one having been shot and killed in the line of duty. We find out as the story unfolds the town leaders were pretty much given a choice; this young green horn or the town bully; Bart Bogardus (played by Neville Brand). Well rather than give a shoot to kill license to Bogardus they give the badge to Owens despite the fact that he really doesn’t have the experience or demeanor for the job. (Hint:he’s too nice!) Bogardus holds a grudge for not getting the badge and looks for every opportunity to get it.

Despite the fact that Hickman is not welcome he must stay around waiting for his claim to be processed ( I guess even back then no job was complete until the paperwork was done!). There is a heartwarming secondary story as he finds a room with a woman and her son that have been shunned by the town because she had married an Indian. While waiting Owens realizes that Hickman is not ‘just” another bounty hunter but has a great deal to teach him about being a sheriff. You see, before becoming a bounty hunter Hickman was a sheriff! They become friends and Hickman begins Owens education in not just law enforcement, but life in general.

John McIntire (and he does a fine job in the role) plays the beloved town doctor approaching his 75th birthday. Unfortunately he is murdered on the cusp of his big birthday bash by two men down on their luck (one played by a young Lee Van Cleef, for you Lee Van Cleef fans!). When the town finds out, they are incensed and Bogardus sees this as an opportunity to take charge of things! He assumes command of the posse and it becomes a man hunt in the truest ugly sense of the word. Despite it all Hickman brings in the men without firing a shot! You might think the movie is over at that point. Bad guys are caught and in jail, bully is frustrated, town is happy, sheriff looks good now, the hero seemingly has done his job. But, no!

Bogardus is not done! He wants to string ‘em up! Now the new sheriff must face his toughest challenge—an unruly drunken mob led by the town bully! His final test. If he passes, his “education” will be complete. If not he will be dead or the laughing stock of town. I’ll leave it to you to see the end!

I love this movie because it is about transmission. Transmission, you say? Yes. Throughout the whole movie we see the transmission of wisdom and experience from Hickman to Owens. We also see the transmission of youthful hope and exuberance from Owens and Kip, the ladies young son, to cynical Hickman.

And finally we see change and acceptance as the characters receive the lessons the are getting.

This is a great movie. I love this movie. Again it is a great family movie, it teaches a tremendous lesson about the value of wisdom and experience, something lacking it today’s modern Western society. It is filled with so many teachable moments for youth, heck, anyone! I wholeheartedly recommend this movie. And, yes, I also have this one in my collection.

I would also like to share some of the better lines from the movie with you:

Morg Hickman: How come they picked you?
Sheriff Ben Owens: I’m only temporary.
Morg Hickman: You’re more temporary than you think.

Kip Mayfield: Don’t I look like a sheriff?
Morg Hickman: You look more like a sheriff than the sheriff does.

Sheriff Ben Owens: I wouldn’t expect no bounty hunter to appreciate this badge.
Morg Hickman: I wore one a lot longer than you ever will.

Morg Hickman:  ”Paste this in your hat: a gun’s only a tool. You can master a gun if you got the knack. Harder to learn men. ”

I hope you take the time to watch this great movie and enjoy it for all it has to offer.

We are all looking for ways to save a little money these days with the economy getting tight and even bigger changes on the horizon (I heard an “expert” the other day say that if Cap & Trade passes the senate that our electric bills could go up 40 – 60% . . . take it for whatever it’s worth).  So in this feature we try to present money saving tips under the theory that a little here and a little there eventually adds up to a significant improvement in cash flow.

Entertainment is important – not as much as food and shelter but if you don’t budget for it you’ll eventually blow that budget on movies, trips or concerts . . . we all need a little R&R in out lives.  Having said that I believe there are some ways to really cut back on the COST without cutting back on the FUN or relaxation; here’s three examples of what I mean:

Get Rid Of The Dish!  Yeah, yeah, yeah – I know ; life will be meaningless without the Cartoon Network or the latest episode of Deadliest Catch . . .or so it seems.  But just look at the bill.  Varies from area to area but most of you are putting out around $30 a month just for the “basic” package.  That adds up over time!   I don’t have either cable or dish and instead use a digital antenna and a DVD/VHS player.  I live about 40 miles as the crow flies from the nearest station and get pretty good reception of about four local channels – enough for news, weather and a few programs.  If nothing is playing I pop in a movie.  The $5 dollar bin at Wal-Mart is my friend and I keep an eye peeled at garage sales for good condition movies as well.  I don’t rent movies because I try to avoid situations where I give someone money and don’t end up with any lasting value from the deal.  for  less than 10 dollars I can buy a movie and watch it whenever I like for years to come.  I figure I come out way ahead financially with this strategy.  And remember – just because you have access to 749 channels doesn’t mean anything good will be on!

Reading!  . . . reading?  really?  I can hear people saying that to themselves as they read this.  But yes, I am a big proponent of reading for entertainment.  I feel it is even more relaxing than T.V. and you actually exercise the mind rather than numb it.  And VERY cheap!  A library card gives you access to thousands of books and most towns have a good used bookstore where you can find books for a buck or less.  And don’t neglect garage sales!  I have a whole library of books I bought out of a box in someone’s yard for 50 cents. When I was working on my undergrad degree I always set aside a few days after finals each semester and buried myself in the latest Tom Clancy.  Good, fun, entertaining fiction and since I bought them at a local used bookstore for $1.50 each they were also very cheap!  But reading isn’t just about fun fiction – no matter where your interests lay you can find books on the subject.  For instance – I have a passion for WWII history; a few years back I set out to build a library of biographies and first person accounts by people who actually took part in those events.  I now have a couple dozen such books that I’ve picked up in used bookstores and Amazon – all for less than $10 and most for under $5.  Lot’s of time spent learning about the events surrounding WWII from original sources, lots of relaxation and all for very little money.

Community Events:  A while back I was visiting Russ and they had a Greek Festival in his town.  I don’t believe it cost much to attend and it was GREAT!!  Great food, great music and great fun watching the dancing and such!  My point is that nearly every community has some sort of event going on at one time or another throughout the year.  Fairs, Rodeos, Circuses, Festivals, free concerts in the park . . . list is endless.  Shoot even a Home Builders show or car show can be fun!  Most of these events are either free to the public or have an admission price less than a movie.  Furthermore the admission price is usually going to a worthy, local cause or group so you can feel good about the fact that what little money you ARE spending is going for something worth while and local and not towards the hot tub in the back of some movie mogul’s limo.  These events also give you a chance to learn about local ethnic groups or interact with local hobbyist with whom you may share an interest.  All in all it’s money very well spent.

So there you have three ways to save on entertainment that gives you either lasting value or education.  All three are either saving you money directly or indirectly and all three provide some high quality R&R with very minimal cash outlay.  Hope this inspires some brainstorming and if anyone has additional money savers in this area please leave a comment or write to us at dudesndivorce@dudesndivorce.com

Thanks much and Be Well!

Bill

Well men here we are at the front end of Spring – the weather is getting warm, days are getting longer and a guy gets to itching to just get out there and DO something.  I’ve been suffering from a serious case of Spring Fever for a couple weeks now and my tab both on-line and at the store shows it!  So in keeping with my obsessive mindset I thought I’d share some thoughts on getting ready for two great outdoor activities that a lot of men enjoy and which can easily fit into even the tightest budget.  I’m speaking of course about Polo and motorcross!  No, no, no . . . just kidding (although a cross between those two sports might be VERY interesting to watch!  Motopolo! hmmmm)  ANYWAY (did I not mention I have Spring Fever and am easily distracted?)  Actually I’m talking about Camping and Fishing. 

Camping:  If you are pretty new to camping I’d suggest either going to the library, a bookstore or Amazon and picking up a book on camping basics, yeah it’s a little bit of a cash outlay but let me tell you – it is well worth the money to be  prepared than unprepared and miserable.  While I don’t own it I like Michael Rutter’s Camping Made Easy – it covers the basics very well (and is in our banner ad).  And that is really the difference between a horrible trip and a great one – knowing the basics and planning ahead!  Now having said that let me caution you against thinking that you have to buy top end, name brand, gear to have a good trip.  You can easily spend hundreds of dollars on camping gear which really doesn’t fit into the budget of most “Divorced Dudes”.  I’d suggest that the first time you go to try to borrow equipment from friends or family – no sense putting a lot of money into something if you end up hating it.  But if you end of loving it – or have gone a lot in the past and just need to re-equip then – as I’ve mentioned in an earlier post but  will repeat it here – for a single guy heading out on a weekend camping trip a cheap, one-man tent from Wal-Mart or a similar store will serve you very well.  I have just such a tent that I’ve used now for ten years or more and absolutely love it.  A little hint here . . .practice setting it up in your living room a couple times first to save you the frustration of having to learn as you go out in the woods.  An air mattress or sleeping pad is a wonderful thing to have especially if you are over 35  (I’m just sayin!) you can also pick one of these up for minimal cash at a discount store.  For lanterns, cook stoves (if you want one), sleeping bags and cooking gear you can often find these items in serviceable condition at flea markets, yard sales or surplus stores.  (and there is no law that you HAVE to have a sleeping bag – blankets work just fine if your not hiking or canoeing in to your site).  All in all a guy should be able to fully equip himself for less than a hundred dollars if he looks for deals and doesn’t get carried away.  I do a lot of canoeing in which I camp out each night on a gravel bar so I pack light;  Other than getting a bit damp now and then from unplanned swimming I have a wonderful time and stay very comfortable and I doubt I have $100 invested in all my gear (excluding the canoe) – I wouldn’t suggest starting out with that but it does demonstrate that it’s do-able.  Finally I’d also find a guide somewhere to campgrounds in your area.  Nice to know what amenities they offer and what to expect – while I can enjoy myself in fairly primitive sites I DO enjoy now and then camping at a campground that has showers available!   Yeah . . Yeah . . .Yeah . .  I’m a wimp! . . . but at least I don’t smell like a dead moose!

Fishing – yesterday I went to Wal-Marts and picked up some new tackle, mainly because I needed it and partially as research for this post.  I bought a nice little Shakespeare crappie rig (not “crappy” – “crappie” – a large panfish here in the States)  it set me back about $25 . . . I also bought some hooks, a couple lures, fish stringer (I like to eat ‘em although I do catch and release at times as well) and a little fishing box to hold it all in; my grand total was about $40.  Add to that whatever your state, resident fishing license costs and you’re probably not at much more than $50 for a whole summers worth of fishing.  I could have gone a LOT cheaper if I’d hunted up some yard sales but I wasn’t looking for a bottom cost estimate – just a fair one.  No, the rod probably won’t last 20 years (although it might if I take care of it) – but it WILL certainly get me through a summer or two at least and a lot of relaxing Saturdays along side a body of water.  What I like about fishing is that you can just decide to go “wet a line” on a whim.  If you are anywhere close to a body of water you can get home after work and just say “screw it! I’m goin’ fishin”!” grab your rod and reel, tackle box and away you go.  Even if you don’t catch much the experienced angler knows that isn’t the point . . . it’s about fresh air, sunshine and relaxation; or at least it is for me.

So anyway – there’s a few ramblings on a couple great outdoor activities that a divorced guy can get into for minimal cost and lots of relaxation and fun through the warm season.

Hope this was of help, ENJOY!

and Be Well!

Bill

It is easy sometimes to get caught up in all the negative aspects of being a divorced “dude”; alimony, child support, loneliness, missing your children, lost friends, etc . . etc . . ..  But, as with everything else in life, you can be sure there are some positives to be found even here in “divorceland”.  Your perspective determines how you perceive the raw data of your life and thus determines your reality.  (ok enough with the philosophy eh?).  I chose a while back to  perceive this time in my life as a window of opportunity to do things I’d not had the chance to do before. Using that as a springboard I’m going to list a few windows that may be open to you as well provided you have the desire to take advantage of current circumstances.

 -           Go back to school; shortly after my last divorce I had a chance to return to school and complete my Masters degree.  Previously this avenue had been closed to me because of a variety of reasons stemming from my marriage.  After a divorce is sometimes a good time to think about returning to the ivory halls of academia; more free time, fewer distractions and outside commitments and while money can be tight a single man can live on much less that a family (provided you don’t have custody of your children).

 -           Pick back up an old hobby or develop a new one.  Often times we drift away from our interests because of the daily pressures of life and family.  Post-divorce sometimes finds a guy with fewer of these pressures and more spare time on his hands.  It’s also worth noting that many hobbies can be gotten into with a minimum of expense.  Camping, fishing, hunting, theater, gardening, bowling, collecting, music . . . the list is endless.  An added benefit I’ve discovered is the wonderful escape from the stresses of divorce that a hobby can provide.  Personally I love to cast a line in a local lake, enjoy the peace and quite of the outdoors and concentrate on something OTHER than the latest drama from the Ex for a while.

 -           Related to the hobby thing above is the idea of picking up a field of study.  Maybe you want to learn a new language (Russ is teaching himself Mandarin Chinese!) or learn about fine wines or Native American history or learn guitar whatever field is of interest; doesn’t have to involve formal classes. 

 -           Travel; now if you can afford to travel overseas then great but you know there is an awful lot to be said for a weekend road trip.  Throw a overnight bag in the backseat and hit the road for a destination you’ve been wanting to visit or just to see where the road takes you.  This is both relaxing and fun and not too terribly expensive.  (It’s also a great activity to do with your kids BTW).

 -  Volunteering; have a favorite charity that you’ve always wanted to support more actively?  Here’s your chance!  Wither it’s helping build a house for Habitat for Humanity or manning the phones for Jerry’s Kid’s chances are they will be delighted to have someone willing to lend a hand. 

 These are just a few examples to get you thinking but there are many more.  I believe that for me it was very beneficial to work on developing new interests and learn new things.  Helped me to work through the stresses of post divorce life and to put a more positive spin on the reality of my situation.

 Bill