dudesndivorce.com

Good Day Gentlemen!

I want to share something kinda personal with you all today; not because I have some need to garner attention from strangers or because I’m wanting to elicit sympathy.  No it’s more because I know that a lot of divorced dudes in my age range deal with this and because by sharing it with all of you I will be more strongly motivated to fight all the harder.

The battle I am fighting has to do with my health.  I’m a big guy – well over six foot and well over 200 pounds and I have the high blood pressure and sleep apnea to prove it!  Weight has always been an issue for me – I’m not much of an athlete (which is kinda like saying that Hitler wasn’t much of a humanitarian!!) I’ve always gravitated more towards reading, writing and other sedentary pursuits than I have physical stuff.  I also dearly love food!  And the combination is starting to really take it’s toll.

I met with a Heart Specialist the other day and he laid it all out pretty straight.  Basic facts are I need to loose about a hundred pounds, get some exercise, eat better and get that blood pressure down (it’s about 140/90).  If I don’t then I’m going to die, simple as that.  Either a heart attack, a stroke or I just won’t wake up one morning.  I’ve been ignoring my health far too long and now it’s down to the wire.

Now this just isn’t something I know much about – I have the book knowledge but not the experience and so I’m going to be learning this by trial and error.  If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions I certainly welcome them and I will promise to give updates on my progress from time to time (and I’ll probably ask for advice along the way as well).

Men, I have three kids, two grandchildren and a lot of friends and family whom I love and care about very much.  I don’t want to end up missing out on getting to be a part of their lives.  Already my poor physical condition gets in the way of going hiking and doing other fun stuff with them – Guess I’m really letting it rob me of some really wonderful times.   It is long past time to turn this around.

Thanks for listening to me

Be Well

Bill

Hello guys at dudesndivorce.com!

This morning as I rounded a curve on my morning run I was met by a loud and raucous RIIIIINNNNNG!!!!!!!!!!! I was passing near one of the local schools and, apparently, they were testing their class bell system before the beginning of another school year. It got me to thinking as I was jogging about fresh starts. Certainly we all need them from time to time. Our culture often makes a big deal about them, look at the New Year’s ritual of New Year’s resolutions or the age old tradition of spring cleaning to name just a couple.

You may have noticed I’m just a little bit of a different nut than most, for me a good time to start something new has always been summer or the August or September time frame. I suppose it comes from two aspects of my personality, 1) as a child I loved school and eagerly awaited the chance to dive into new learning again and 2) I early on developed a sincere appreciation of the game of football and this time signaled the start of a new season.

Whatever is you time, it is important to have those phases to initiate change in your life (hopefully positive and long lasting change!). Maybe your a person that plans your moment of change out to the last detail, plotting every minute part of your plan, charting, compiling data, doing research well in advance so you are prepared and nothing will come as a surprise. Or perhaps you are more the fly by the seat of your pants kind of guy, wake up one day and let’s just see what happens kind, let’s just do it and see where everything ends up kind of guy. Or, like most of us, your probably somewhere in between. And that’s ok! The point is, make a positive change!

For example, I knew running again would be good for me. Not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally. But for some reason I hesitated to start. Perhaps I just wasn’t ready. I bought the shoes, I made out a running plan. But the shoes stayed in the box and I never went out the door. Then one morning I woke up and just said, “I’m ready. Today I’m going running.” And with that I started. And I do feel so much better physically, mentally and emotionally.

Now maybe running or exercise is not the type of change you have in mind for yourself. The point is, decide on your change, prepare for it, and when your ready, do it!

See ya later,

Russ

Hello guys,

Since Bill has written so well on the self discipline issue recently, I’d thought I’d share a little something on the same.

This has been an issue I have been struggling with all my life. Despite being in the military (you’d think I would’ve gotten a handle on it then!). To be honest, I felt for most of my marriage my ex-wife took advantage of my willingness to “step up” in this regard so she (in my opinion) almost completely withdrew from not only self discipline but also disciplining the children. Thus leaving me to carry this burden. A burden I was never fully equipped to bear (ain’t 20/20 hindsight great?). despite confronting her on this issue numerous times, no progress was ever achieved.

So, I guess when I moved out and began the process of divorce I felt that I had simply been worn out or down self discipline-wise. I just felt like it had all been wrung out of me. Did I completely go to pot, as the old saying goes? No, but I really did slack off in a lot of areas of my life. Some inconsequential, others not. Some I’m not proud of at all, in fact pretty ashamed actually.

But, after 2 years after the divorce actually became final, nearly 4 from the move out day, I feel like returning to my old self, to some old habits. I have been wanting (and, yes, needing) to exercise for quite some years now. And today I returned to running, something I used to truly enjoy.

But my mindset is not simply to exercise, to log miles, to lose weight (while all those are good and I want them to happen) my mindset now is to simply enjoy running again. To enjoy the feeling of the air and sun against your face, the changing weather and seasons, to feel my body transform from the sluggish thing it is now to a firmer, fitter me. To feel the blood flow cleanly through my veins, to feel the air surge through my lungs, and to feel that deep down sense of satisfaction that I have done something good. And I did it all on my own. That sense of accomplishment that no one can take from you.

Just wanted to share,

Russ