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Hey dudes!  Been a while since I last put a recipe on here and with the cold weather and approach of the rainy season for so many of us I thought a great choice would be what I call Chicken Stewp.  What is a “stewp” you ask?  It’s that perfect combination of a thick, hearty stew and a savory soup, only way to go if you ask me!  This is what I make whenever I get in the mood for something to eat that is a little lighter than chili or beef stew and yet just as warming.  Total prep time is about half and hour but the longer you let it simmer the better.  I also direct you to use chicken breasts for this but to really do it right you need to make this after you’ve eaten a roast chicken and you use the frame (to put it nicely) of the roasting hen that’s left over.  If you do it that way you’ll need to plan on simmering the “frame” in the broth for about an hour and then picking off the remaining meat to add to the stewp.  But that’s a lot of time and fuss for a quick recipe (even though it makes a much better tasting bowl in the long run.)  This also works really good with left over turkey!

Anyway – on to the recipe:

2 frozen chicken breasts (thawed)

1 tablespoon crushed garlic

¼ cup olive oil

¼ small onion – diced

½ teaspoon black pepper

1 small pinch rosemary

½ teaspoon ginger

2 stalks celery – chopped

1 medium bag (or 4 cups) egg noodles (the thicker, frozen variety are best)

2 large cans, low-sodium, chicken broth (I prefer Swanson’s)

1 bag frozen mixed veggies of your choice

1 cup chopped baby portabella mushrooms

In a frying pan add oil, garlic and onion and set on medium heat.  Cube chicken breasts into pieces roughly the size of your thumbnail and add to frying pan.  You’ll want to sauté’ the chicken breasts until they just begin to turn a light, golden brown – set frying pan off heat.  In a large stock pot add broth, pepper, ginger, rosemary, celery and noodles and bring to a low, simmering boil; allow them to do so for about 10 minutes stirring occasionally, add entire contents of frying pan (chicken, garlic, onions and left over oil) to broth (be careful not to splash yourself) and add frozen veggies and mushrooms.  Turn down to low heat and allow the mixture to simmer for at least ten minutes.  It’s ready to serve! 

Alternately if you mix all of the ingredients in a crock-pot and allow to cook on low to medium for an hour or so (covered) I think you get a much better end product.

The variation on the ingredients is about endless . .  . I’ve added chopped cabbage before to very good effect.  Frozen veggie mixes come in a wide range and so you can experiment with which ones to use.  I usually prefer those with carrots and corn involved although some of the stir-fry mixes can be really good as well.  Just let your appetite be your guide.

Hope you like this one and don’t be shy to let me know what you found to improve it.

Happy eating! and until next time – Be Well!

Bill

Pizza is arguably one of the greatest inventions of the culinary arts since the discovery of spices!  Easy to prepare, versatile, fairly nutritious and absolutely delicious!  What’s not to like about pizza?

Pizza is also possibly the PERFECT food for divorced dudes like us.  Not only can you order one delivered and eat a couple days off of it for a reasonable price . . . you can also make one yourself without a lot of fuss; AND you can even be healthy in doing so!

OK, first of all, a confession.  In my natural state I am a pizza-holic!  And none of these wimpy veggie pizzas either!  Nawwww gimme a pepperoni, mushroom and black olive pizza with extra cheese (and I MEAN EXTRA!!).  I want a pizza that a grown man can barely manage to lift outta the oven!  Kapeesh?   

BUT . . . I am also capable of rationality and while it’s fine to satisfy my craving for an UBER-Pizza now and again . . . on a normal basis I need to dial it back a few notches.

SO – when I want a good – HEALTHY – and fairly inexpensive pizza I often make it at home!  Here’s what I do –

First buy one of those pre-made pizza crusts at the store –

I either buy the Ragu or Chef Boy-R-Dee  pizza sauce or I use spaghetti sauce for a change of pace. You can also forego the tomato sauce and just rub the crust down with some olive oil and crushed garlic – very good!

Toppings – whatever appeals to you although if you are trying to watch your weight you might steer clear of pepperoni or sausage.  I actually kinda like some cut up chicken, fresh mushrooms, green peppers, onion, black olives and zucchini.  I don’t pre-cook the veggies but just put them on the pizza raw as it gives you better flavor in the end.

Cover everything in shredded mozzarella or Italian mixed cheese  and then bake on 375 until the cheese is all melted and starting to brown . . .  mmmmm-mmmm good scoff!

Makes a great meal just for yourself or if your cooking for your kids as well – what kid doesn’t like pizza?!  With the pre-made crusts you can also just prepare several ingredients and then let your kids make their own!  VERY popular with my kids when they were young and pretty much guaranteed they’ll eat good ~:?).  And what doesn’t get eaten makes great leftovers for lunch or even breakfast the next day (cold pizza and coffee is one of my favorite breakfasts!)

OK – I better stop writing here . . . all this talk about pizza is starting to really make me hungry for an uber-pizza-of-the-gods and there’s that darn ad for ordering pizzas they put up in our sidebar . . . if I don’t stop now I may give in to temptation!

Have a great weekend and Be Well!!

Bill

So . . . there I stood.  Clock on the wall said it was high noon but my stomach was growling like I hadn’t eaten all day.  Before me stood in defiant challenge the menu of a restaurant that my co-workers and I had chosen for a working lunch.  Never has a menu contained a greater concentration of items straight from the pit of dieter’s Hell!  Chili Cheese Fries!  Brats!  Pork Tenderloin Sandwiches!!  and (even now I get weak in the knees even thinking about it) Onion Rings!! and not those wimpy processed rings either!  I’m talkin the big fat home made jobs!!   Oh get thee behind me Satan!!  Men – I can not even begin to tell you how sorely I was tempted!  Of course I started to rationalize . . . “brats are high in protein!” ; “I only had oatmeal for breakfast so I can get away with it!!” and of course the classic “what could it hurt?”. 

For a moment my diet (and artieries) hung in the balance, everything became strangely quite, a hush filled the room, my life passed before my eyes!  Okay – so I’m probably building this up quite a bit for dramatic effect but anyone whose been tempted like this on a diet can relate I’m sure.

“Can I help you?” the waitress asked?  For a moment I was almost going to say “Pork Tenderloin with a side of Rings please!”  But then I came to my senses (much to my stomach’s dismay) and ordered a Chef Salad with a lite dressing and a bottle of water.  Not to make to much of it but I really think I probably deserve at least the Victorian Cross!  (my stomach feels the purple heart is in order!).

Just wanted to share this little victory with everyone and encourage any fellow dieters out there . . . after all if I can do it anyone can!  Food is certainly my weakness . . . I’m not much of a drinker, quit smoking twenty years ago, I don’t gamble, swear excessively or frequent houses of ill repute.  Most such temptations I can avoid.  But if Darth Vader was ever to turn me to the dark side it would be because he’d said “Join the Dark Side Bill . . . we’ve got jelly donuts!”.  Yep – pretty pathetic but you don’t know the power of the JELLY!  ~:?)

Recently resisted temptation also?  If you’d like to brag on yourself a bit we’d love to hear about ti!  Just drop a comment below.  Otherwise stay strong and Be Well

Bill

Well gentlemen – I’ve had some success in my “Battle of the Bulge”; went to the docs office last week and I’ve lost SIX pounds over the last month!  Now – If I can keep that up for a couple years I’ll be about right!  HA!  I AM pretty proud of it though – every ounce helps.  My blood pressure is down as well – from a high of about 160/100 to 127/80 . . . not perfect but again – I’m making progress.

There can be some real challenges to getting in better shape as a divorced “dude”; I thought maybe I’d take a look at a few of those and share with you what is working for me in regard to each.  I’m no expert by any means – but I do know what has worked in my life.

1 – Stress:  Going through and recovering from a divorce is not exactly conducive to low blood pressure is it? !!  All the crap that comes raining down on you while you are going through the BIG D and you wanna try to loose weight too?  I’ve found that the best strategy during that initial year is to avoid getting in the habit of eating a lot of junk food and/or using food as a coping mechanism.  I wouldn’t suggest putting yourself on a strict diet with all of the associated stress but just work on building healthy eating habits.  I’ve written a few posts with good, low fat, recipes that you might want to check out under the category “Recipes”.

2 – Support:  Most divorced dudes are living on their own and may not have much of a support network going on yet.  That can make it very difficult to stick to a diet since accountability is a big piece of the puzzle.  I’m lucky to have friends and family who encourage me in my efforts; but I’ve found support in other places as well.  Your co-workers can be a great source of encouragement as can be people who belong to the same church, club or civic organization; just mention that you are trying to loose a few pounds and most people with be happy to lend their encouragement.  I have a few co-workers who I have made a habit out of mentioning my successes (and failures) to each week . . . not like a formal report or anything – I just mention it in conversation “at the water cooler” as it were.  Helps me resist temptation!

3 – Convenience:  It is much easier to throw a frozen pizza in the oven than to take the time to cook a low-fat, nutritious meal.  I’m a pretty good in the kitchen and I actually enjoy cooking but even for me it’s a challenge to avoid taking the “easy” way out at the end of a long day.  (as divorced men we have to not only put in a day’s work but keep the house as well . . . sometimes I am just not “feelin’ it”).  One of the things that has helped me a lot is that over the years of being a single-dad I developed a number of quick, easy, recipes for meals that not only taste pretty good (they had to pass the “kid test” after all!) but are also low fat and relatively healthy and some of those are actually EASIER than the aforementioned frozen pizza!  So starting a collection of the same is probably a good step for any divorced dude; you can find them on-line, in magazines, newspapers and from friends and family as well as here at dudesndivorce.com.

4 – Depression:  the sad truth is that a huge percentage of divorced men suffer from some form of depression which can lead to overeating and lack of exercise.  When you feel like your living your life under a wet, warm, wool blanket it can be extremely difficult to get up the energy to do much beyond what you absolutely MUST do.  Sitting on the couch, watching T.V. and eating “comfort” food is a huge temptation at this point.  If you think this describes you then please, by all means, talk w/ your doctor!  There is no reason not to and depression is not something that you can just “shake off” and go on with your life.  As I mentioned earlier many, many men experience depression at some point during the process of a divorce or the recovery phase afterwards.  Your doctor can prescribe something to help you over the “hump” and might know of some other methods to help ease the symptoms.  The great challenge with depression is that it is like having a dead battery in your car.  You lack the spark, the energy, to get moving or get much accomplished.  Also, you can’t generate the energy on your own!  Just like the car – once your get that jump start from someone else your car can re-charge it’s battery.  But without that outside help there’s no way it can get started on that.  Think on it dude!

5 – Last but not least is loneliness . . . you find yourself alone but not ready emotionally to meet someone new or conduct a relationship.  So if you are like a lot of people (myself included!) you eat to cover up the loneliness.  It doesn’t make much sense but that’s what we do never-the-less!  I know that I have always gained the most weight after a break-up and when I was in that “lonely but not ready to move forward” phase.  Ice cream and cookies here I come!  I’ve found it helps me to spend more time with my friends and family at this juncture and also to build a habit of doing something else other than eating when the lonely feelings start in.  I love to garden and fish and take walks so I do those things as much as possible when I get in the mood to “eat my loneliness”.  I will admit that I don’t always do this 100% of the time . . . but when I do it works for me.

Those are just the first few challenges that came to mind as I looked at this and like I said I can only tell you what works for me.  I hope they helped a bit one way or another.

Good luck on the Battle of the Bulge and . . .

Be Well!

Bill

Good Day Gentlemen!

I want to share something kinda personal with you all today; not because I have some need to garner attention from strangers or because I’m wanting to elicit sympathy.  No it’s more because I know that a lot of divorced dudes in my age range deal with this and because by sharing it with all of you I will be more strongly motivated to fight all the harder.

The battle I am fighting has to do with my health.  I’m a big guy – well over six foot and well over 200 pounds and I have the high blood pressure and sleep apnea to prove it!  Weight has always been an issue for me – I’m not much of an athlete (which is kinda like saying that Hitler wasn’t much of a humanitarian!!) I’ve always gravitated more towards reading, writing and other sedentary pursuits than I have physical stuff.  I also dearly love food!  And the combination is starting to really take it’s toll.

I met with a Heart Specialist the other day and he laid it all out pretty straight.  Basic facts are I need to loose about a hundred pounds, get some exercise, eat better and get that blood pressure down (it’s about 140/90).  If I don’t then I’m going to die, simple as that.  Either a heart attack, a stroke or I just won’t wake up one morning.  I’ve been ignoring my health far too long and now it’s down to the wire.

Now this just isn’t something I know much about – I have the book knowledge but not the experience and so I’m going to be learning this by trial and error.  If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions I certainly welcome them and I will promise to give updates on my progress from time to time (and I’ll probably ask for advice along the way as well).

Men, I have three kids, two grandchildren and a lot of friends and family whom I love and care about very much.  I don’t want to end up missing out on getting to be a part of their lives.  Already my poor physical condition gets in the way of going hiking and doing other fun stuff with them – Guess I’m really letting it rob me of some really wonderful times.   It is long past time to turn this around.

Thanks for listening to me

Be Well

Bill

For the last couple weeks I’ve been publishing some posts that focus on the idea of recovering and rebuilding after an unhealthy marital relationship ends in divorce.  We’ve looked at how the unhealthy relationship in your marriage can negatively effect many other areas of your life and that they don’t just magically get better once the marriage ends.  Like every other illness there is a recovery time.

But I’ve had conversations with some guys who seem to feel that maybe all this rebuilding, reinventing and renewing stuff really isn’t all that important.  The common theme seems to be that as long as you are fairly comfortable and there are no big problems – then leave well enough alone.  To me that approach sounds like a guy who sees the “Check Engine” light is on in his car, smells oil burning, and hears a loud knocking sound saying “Oh well – it get’s me where I wanna go most of the time and the seats are comfortable and I really don’t want to spend any money on it so why mess with repairs?”

It is – of course – your life.  You can pretty much do with it what you want. But let me throw out three reasons why I think that it DOES matter:

Children:  Whatever was going wrong in your marriage, it impacted your children.  They got to have a front row seat through the entire “Main Event” and saw first hand all of the arguments, the passive aggression, the hurting and the avoidance.  Every family has a “culture” a way things are done, taboos and an unwritten code of conduct.  Kids absorb that culture and make it their own.  If you had an unhealthy marriage chances are wonderful that your family has developed an unhealthy culture.  That doesn’t just go away because the parents get divorced.  You can’t fix all of it but you can set a great example by starting to work on yourself.  No matter what age your children are they will be influenced by your decision to build a healthier life.  If they see you facing tough truths about yourself, making the effort to change communication patterns and addressing those “elephants” that everyone’s been tiptoeing around for years; then they are very liable to start the process themselves.  In short you can be the catalyst to changing your family’s culture.

Future Relationships:  Wasn’t that last marriage so much fun!?!  Want to do it all again?  Most of you are probably saying OH HECK NO!! (or something stronger).  Yeah – if you are like me you’d probably rather get kicked upside your head every day for the rest of your life than have to repeat your last marriage.  Just no fun at ALL!  Well guess what?  If you don’t spend some time finding out what it was in YOU that contributed to all of that joviality then you are probably going to end up right back at square one.  Like history those who do not study their role in an unhealthy relationship are bound to repeat it.

Your Health:  It isn’t any secret that inner health is reflected in physical health.  If you have issues that you aren’t working on then they are going to eventually result in physical symptoms.  Unresolved anger, a tendency to swallow anger, constant frustration, feeling insufficient or incompetent even a broken heart can result in physical changes in your body that will destroy your health.  When you face up to those things (possibly with the help of a counselor or clergyman) it sure isn’t much fun but it leads to a much healthier and happier you in the long run.  And don’t forget that self-improvement can include getting in better shape as well.  Loosing some pounds, getting some exercise, eating better . . . these all lead to better health.

There are many other reasons to work on rebuilding and renewing yourself after a divorce but these are three pretty good ones (at least in my opinion); worth maybe thinking about anyway.

Until next time – Be Well!!

Bill