1 – Cream of Broccoli Stump Soup:  The fresh Broccoli that you buy at the store tastes a lot better than the frozen stuff and is much more nutritious to!  But about half of what you buy normally just gets thrown away!  The “stump” of the broccoli isn’t something we normally think of eating yet it’s something we pay for.  Dad got tired of the wasted money and figured out how to make a pretty decent cream soup with these.  I don’t recall the recipe but I know he peeled the stumps and then diced the rest up small and boiled it a while to get it tender.  Makes me think about what other “wasted” food we might look at twice (and NO I don’t recommend Bologna skin soup! ~:?)

2 – Turning the hot water heater off at night . . . I guess there is some debate about how much you save since the heater has to heat up the water again in the morning; but the point here is to think about all of those automatic expenditures of energy and money that we just take for granted.  For instance . . . do we really always HAVE to use the microwave to defrost stuff?  How did they do that before microwaves?  Doesn’t seem like much but over the course of a few months it probably adds up more than we realize.  What about the dryer?  A clothes drying rack costs about 10 dollars new and works just great on socks, underwear and washcloths . . . if you can save running the dryer two or three times a week that’s all money saved.

3 – S.O.S. (i.e. “Stuff” On a Shingle)  for the uninitiated this is hamburger in a white gravy served over toast; real popular back in the day when hamburger was dirt cheap.  It’s actually pretty good if not exactly healthy (ok “not exactly healthy” is a misnomer . . . stuff is a heart attack on a plate!).  You don’t see it much anymore due in large part to the greater health awareness these days and also because it’s definitely not gourmet fare.  But the heart of the matter here is not so much S.O.S. its self but the idea of creating simple, solid, meals from cheap ingredients.  A box of Mac-n-cheese and a half pound of hamburger makes a pretty good meal – maybe even two!

4 – Letting “her” coast in – I recall dad putting the car in neutral when going down a long hill or even turning it off when waiting in traffic. . . and that was back when gas was at the unheard of price  of 40 cents a gallon!  Living in a hilly portion of the country I have to admit that I’ve been known to do the same.  The savings might not be much but over the course of a month I probably save a gallon or two of gas that way and with gas costing 2.50 a gallon that ads up!  Again this underscores a situation awareness of what things are costing you and how you can limit those expenditures.

5 – “This Place is Lit Up Like a Cathedral at Christmas!”  Something similar to what my dad would say whenever he walked into a vacant room with the light on.  It really underscores the whole attitude here.  My dad was CONSTANTLY aware of every watt of energy burned, every wasted morsel of food and every lost ounce of gas; it was a state of constant awareness that we’ve gotten away from as a society. 

As divorced “dudes” many of us are in a pretty vulnerable position as the economy sours and now might just be a great time to learn or re-learn that same state of awareness.  It’s not really about eating broccoli stumps or turning off the water heater – it’s about being AWARE that we are spending money in those small, seemingly unimportant ways.  Hopefully these anecdotes from my childhood have helped spur your thinking along those same lines.

Be Well!

Bill

Entertainment is important – not as much as food and shelter but if you don’t budget for it you’ll eventually blow that budget on movies, trips or concerts . . . we all need a little R&R in out lives.  Having said that I believe there are some ways to really cut back on the COST without cutting back on the FUN or relaxation; here’s three examples of what I mean:

Get Rid Of The Dish!  Yeah, yeah, yeah – I know ; life will be meaningless without the Cartoon Network or the latest episode of Deadliest Catch . . .or so it seems.  But just look at the bill.  Varies from area to area but most of you are putting out around $30 a month just for the “basic” package.  That adds up over time!   I don’t have either cable or dish and instead use a digital antenna and a DVD/VHS player.  I live about 40 miles as the crow flies from the nearest station and get pretty good reception of about four local channels – enough for news, weather and a few programs.  If nothing is playing I pop in a movie.  The $5 dollar bin at Wal-Mart is my friend and I keep an eye peeled at garage sales for good condition movies as well.  I don’t rent movies because I try to avoid situations where I give someone money and don’t end up with any lasting value from the deal.  for  less than 10 dollars I can buy a movie and watch it whenever I like for years to come.  I figure I come out way ahead financially with this strategy.  And remember – just because you have access to 749 channels doesn’t mean anything good will be on!

Reading!  . . . reading?  really?  I can hear people saying that to themselves as they read this.  But yes, I am a big proponent of reading for entertainment.  I feel it is even more relaxing than T.V. and you actually exercise the mind rather than numb it.  And VERY cheap!  A library card gives you access to thousands of books and most towns have a good used bookstore where you can find books for a buck or less.  And don’t neglect garage sales!  I have a whole library of books I bought out of a box in someone’s yard for 50 cents. When I was working on my undergrad degree I always set aside a few days after finals each semester and buried myself in the latest Tom Clancy.  Good, fun, entertaining fiction and since I bought them at a local used bookstore for $1.50 each they were also very cheap!  But reading isn’t just about fun fiction – no matter where your interests lay you can find books on the subject.  For instance – I have a passion for WWII history; a few years back I set out to build a library of biographies and first person accounts by people who actually took part in those events.  I now have a couple dozen such books that I’ve picked up in used bookstores and Amazon – all for less than $10 and most for under $5.  Lot’s of time spent learning about the events surrounding WWII from original sources, lots of relaxation and all for very little money.

Community Events:  A while back I was visiting Russ and they had a Greek Festival in his town.  I don’t believe it cost much to attend and it was GREAT!!  Great food, great music and great fun watching the dancing and such!  My point is that nearly every community has some sort of event going on at one time or another throughout the year.  Fairs, Rodeos, Circuses, Festivals, free concerts in the park . . . list is endless.  Shoot even a Home Builders show or car show can be fun!  Most of these events are either free to the public or have an admission price less than a movie.  Furthermore the admission price is usually going to a worthy, local cause or group so you can feel good about the fact that what little money you ARE spending is going for something worth while and local and not towards the hot tub in the back of some movie mogul’s limo.  These events also give you a chance to learn about local ethnic groups or interact with local hobbyist with whom you may share an interest.  All in all it’s money very well spent.

So there you have three ways to save on entertainment that gives you either lasting value or education.  All three are either saving you money directly or indirectly and all three provide some high quality R&R with very minimal cash outlay.  Hope this inspires some brainstorming and if anyone has additional money savers in this area please leave a comment or write to us at dudesndivorce@dudesndivorce.com

Thanks much and Be Well!

Bill

We’ll also be encouraging each of you to share practical, money saving, advice as well.  Nearly everyone has a trick or two up their sleeve for saving a buck here or there.  Just respond in the comments section with your tip or idea so that everyone else can benefit.  If you send in an especially good, original idea we may even contact you and ask you to elaborate a bit by doing a guest post for us.  The idea here men is to help each other out a bit as we face these tough times.  Even those of us who have been doing the post-divorce thing for a while appreciate the occasional tip in this area and I know there are a lot of men still very new to it or who are really struggling due to a lack of employment and/or large child support and alimony judgments.  For them every dime they can squeeze out of their income is of huge importance! If you’d like you can leave the comment directly or you can send us an e-mail at divorced-dudes@dudesndivorce.com 

Finally; we’ll work on getting one of these up about every week although we’re going to focus more on quality than on quantity so we may have two on some weeks and none on others.  A lot of that will depend on the amount of input we get from our readers.

I’m excited about this idea and I really believe it has the potential to help all of us make it through these tough economic times in much better shape.

Be well!

Bill

I think if you talk to a hundred men contemplating divorce that a pretty large percentage of them will express in one way of another than the life of a divorced man is somehow superior to that of an un-happily married man.  They see freedom, independence and a life style full of choices that they wish they had for themselves.  Many believe that divorced guys have more disposable income and that, certainly, their sex lives are far more interesting and adventuresome!

Well . . . hate to break it to you men but . . . turns out it just ain’t so.  Sure you have freedom from the responsibilities and obligations of your marriage . . . but really how much is that?  You still have to work, pay bills, shop and generally take care of the business of life.  It’s true that you can decide to do things you hadn’t been able to do before (go to school, travel some, etc . . ..) but it’s not the life of Reilly.  As far as having more spending money . . . oh I  don’t think so!  Many men are truly shocked at the hit they take financially (want an eye opener?  read “Hit Him Where It Hurts: The Take-No-Prisoners Guide to Divorce–Alimony, Custody, Child Support, and More” by Sherri Donovan.) It’s a book that I feel every guy thinking about a divorce should read before-hand.  To be honest many if not most divorced men have a SMALLER disposable income than they did before the divorce.  Think about that.

And finally regarding the sex . . . I really hate to ruin all those great fantasies but most divorced guys are just not having sex every night with some hot young co-ed.  In fact I’d say it’s safe to hazard that most divorced men are having sex LESS often than they were in their marriage!  Now what’s the fun in THAT observation?! 

So, if you are still just in the contemplation stage on divorce be aware that some of the myths about life as a divorced “dude” are just that – myths.  The reality isn’t nearly as much fun.

Hope this series was of some help or at least interesting to think about.

Until next time . . . Be Well!

Bill